Submissive Journal

How does your owner expect you to communicate when you are angry/upset?

i believe the most important part of communicating those types of feelings is to be respectful when addressing Him about it.

Secondly, i need to be sure i do it. i need to be completely transparent with my feelings and not hide anything from Him or keep things in. i need to open up to Him completely so that i am completely His. If i keep things from Him, then i am keeping a part of myself to myself, which is withholding and not submitting or surrendering my all to Him. He wants to own me inside and out (and i want Him to!), so the inside has to be completely revealed to Him for that to be.

Since we do not live together, timing is not very crucial, and i can email what i am feeling as i am feeling it, and He can read it when He wants to and address it or not as He wishes at His convenience.

The Friday Five-Stranded

Stranded!

It's the "stranded on a desert island" question! You can only take one thing from each category. What is it and why are you taking it?

A food that can be planted and regrown.

i would want oranges because they are nice and juicy and yummy, plus they prevent scurvy.

A person you haven't seen in a long time.

My oldest son because he can do all kinds of manly things, like build fires and shelters, hunt and skin animals to eat, kill scary bugs and all that good stuff.

A book you (were) read as a child.

The Bible because it is inspirational and reassuring.

A celebrity.

Sean Connery, and do i really need to say why?

The entire episode run of a television show (it's a very nice desert island).

No brainer here--Lost--what could be more perfect?

Thursday Thunks

1. The last flight of stairs you walked up/down - were they carpeted?

The last time i climbed enough stairs to qualify as a "flight" was in a parking garage, so no carpeting, just bare concrete.

2. Green or purple grapes?

i don't remember ever eating a grape. i like mine in liquid form. Based on appearance, though, i prefer purple.

3. Do you like Peeps?

No, they're not kosher.

4. The smell of Vicks - like it?

Ordinarily, no, but if i'm congested, i like it.

5. Do you put decorative cling-ons on your windows for different holidays?

No.

6. Finish the sentence - I spent too much money on ________ .

Yarn. It used to be a toss-up between books and yarn, but these days i look for books i want to read at the library first, and the library has had most of them so that i rarely have to purchase any. Unfortunately, borrowing does not work very well for yarn usage.

7. Which celebrity should be flown into outer space or placed on a desert island?

The ever disgusting O.J. Simpson.

8. Would you support schools changing the "open" time? Such as 10am - 5pm, for example?

Probably not. i like it the way it is.

9. Do you go fishing?'

i haven't gone fishing in a loooooooooong time, but i think i would remember how if i did.

10. What question should we ask next week?

What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?

Wednesday Weirdness #47

1.) In your opinion, what is your biggest character flaw?

Procrastination.

2.) What do you think is one of the worst television shows ever created?

The field is just far too vast to pick just one. Soap operas alone are a whole huge category of worst.

3.) Have you ever ended up injured after trying an interesting new sex position?

i don't recall that ever happening. Maybe i haven't tried anything new and interesting enough.

4.) How crucial do you think communication is between you and a regular sexual partner? Do you talk often about what works, what doesn't, things you want to try, etc or do you keep the discussions to a minimal and let the physical flow as it may?

Due to my former husband's disinterest and tendency to hostility, i became accustomed to not communicating, so i am trying to get out of the habit of keeping things to myself because i do think communication is crucial and not just about sexual things. Sometimes it is nice just to go with the flow, too, as long as nothing crucial is being ignored.

5.) Who are your favorite comedic actors/actresses?

Albert Brooks, Shirley MacLaine

6.) In what way(s) do you wish your childhood was different?

i used to think of things like how i might have been better off if my parents had never divorced or if i had always lived with my dad, but in looking back, i remember having a mostly happy childhood, so i don't have any real wish to change anything.

7.) Cotton Candy; Delicious treat or disgusting mess?

The last time i remember having it, i thought it was delicious--spun sugar, how could it not be?

TMI Tuesday #178

1. Don't tell us what it is, but do you have a sexual secret you have never told anyone?

No, i'm pretty sure all has been told.

2. Do you have a nonsexual secret you have never told anyone?

Again, no. i tend to be an open book, at least with people i trust.

3. Did you ever tell someone a secret only to have them spill it? What were the repercussions?

Someone probably did somewhere along the way, but i don't remember anything specific, so the repercussions must not have been a big deal.

4. Did you ever spill a secret someone told you? What were the repercussions?

i probably have done this, too, but again, i don't remember, so it must not have caused any big problems, or i think i would remember. i try to keep private things private, especially if someone asks me to.

5. Tell us a secret someone told you, however along ago, that you've never told. (You can disguise name or details)

The only thing i can think of right now is that someone confided in me that they smoke pot.

Microfantasy Monday--Green

After all the tedious posing for the wedding pictures, the photographer finally dismissed us. While the rest of the wedding party made their way directly to the lakeshore reception site, where all the guests were already waiting for the bride and groom to arrive, i decided to take the more meandering path through the evergreen trees that encircled the lake. i was disappointed that His flight had been delayed and He had not been able to make it to the wedding.

At least the pictures were going to turn out lovely. My sister, the bride, was breathtakingly beautiful, more so than most brides, i thought. And she had been very gracious to choose my maid-of-honor gown in a flattering jade that made the most of my green eyes. Also carefully chosen was the head wreath fashioned of greenery and baby's breath that did not complete with my fiery red hair, which was hanging loose down my back.

As i was thinking that it was time for me to start heading back to the reception, i was grabbed from behind, and just as my brain registered the tight grip of hands clamped around my breasts, i heard "you're MINE" growled into my ear. i thought of spinning around to kiss Him, but instead i relaxed and melted back into Him, so happy to finally be held in His hands, savoring the heat of His body against mine and the warmth of His breath against my ear. Luxuriating in being surrounded by Him, i waited for whatever was going to happen next, knowing that He would tell me.

What Turns Me On

i was recently involved in a discussion regarding various BDSM activities where people were discussing their favorites, and i was explaining that what i eventually came to realize was that it was not any particular activity that was such a turn-on to me. It is more about the man than anything else. i am attracted to dominant men who like to do those kinds of things, so that is why those things turn me on.

That's why i have such a hard time filling out preference lists where you're supposed to pick out your favorite things to do sexually and BDSM-wise. i like these things to be directed by the man i am with, so it is really his preferences that matter. If it is important to him, it is important to me because he is important to me.

To me, it's just part of loving such a man--submitting to his desires because fulfilling his desires is my desire.

Sunday Stealing: A High School Meme

1. Did you date someone from your school?

Yes, a few guys, none seriously, though.

2. Did you marry someone from your high school?

No.

3. Did you car pool to school?

i usually got rides from friends who had cars, and then after i was engaged, my fiance took me to school every morning before he went to work.

4. What kind of car did you have?

i never had my own car in high school. i graduated right after i got my license at 16.

5. What kind of car do you have now?

one that needs to be washed.

6. Its Friday night...where are you now?

At home with my children usually.

7. It is Friday night...where were you then?

Out having fun with my friends or on a date.

8. What kind of job did you have in high school?

i was a dental assistant and secretary.

9. What kind of job do you do now?

i am an editor.

10. Were you a party animal?

Not really.

11. Were you considered a flirt?

Only until i got engaged, and then i wasn't allowed to.

12. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir?

Yes, all of them.

13. Were you a nerd?

Definitely not. i was one of the popular cool kids.

14. Did you get suspended from school?

No.

15. Can you sing the fight song?

i am embarassed to say that yes, i can remember it well enough to sing it.

16. Who was/were your favorite teacher?

My business teacher.

17. Where did you sit during lunch?

Out on the field.

18. What was your school's full name?

i don't want to reveal that much identifying information lest my children ever come across this blog. :)

19. Where did you party the most?

At the beach.

20. What was your school mascot?

Some guy riding a horse.

21. Would you do it again?

Would i do what again--high school? No, thank you.

22. Did you have fun at Prom?

i never went to prom. my fiance was not a student and thus couldn't go, and he would not let me go with anyone else.

23. Do you still talk to the person you went to Prom with?

See above.

24. Are you planning on going to your next reunion?

Wow, just realized it is the 35-year reunion this year! i probably won't go. i haven't been to any of them.

25. Do you still talk to people from school?

Not from high school. i have some friends from elementary and junior high that i keep in touch with, though.

26. What are/were your high school's colors?

Blue and gold.

Simply Snickers

i wanted to linger close to His side

finally He said, "you may abide"

so much revealed in His eyes

neither did He desire good-byes

the look we shared held so much

and even more the power of His touch

as my skin began to burn

i knew there was yet still more to learn

(prompt words: learn, linger, look)

The Stolen Sex Meme

Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?

All of the above.

What side of the bed do you sleep on?

i sleep all over the bed these days since i'm usually the only occupant.

Do you masturbate?

Yes.

How often? Lately?

Four or five times a week i think, and lately, in the last couple of days.

Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?

No, never have.

Do you prefer showers or baths?

Baths. Love baths.

Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath?

Yes.

Do you watch/read pornography?

Occasionally. Prefer erotica. Read one of my favorites here.

Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?

AGGRESSIVE.....please!!!!!!

Would you choose love or money?

Love.

Your top three favorite kinks in bed?

Bondage, spanking, flogging.

Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually?

Yes, former husband gave me STDs during the marriage, and i consider that assault. (Thankfully they were curable.)

Where is the most romantic place you have had sex?

Outside under the stars.

Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?

It's probably not that weird--a car.

Have you ever been caught having sex?

No.

Have you ever been to a strip club?

No.

Ever been to a bar just to get sex?

No.

Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club for sexual reasons?

No.

Ever been picked up in a bar?

Yes.

Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?

No.

What's your sexuality?

Submissive heterosexual.

Had sex in a movie theater?

No.

Had sex in a bathroom?

Yes. In addition to the bath and shower, also the countertop.

Have you ever had sex at work?

No.

Have you ever been in an "adult" store?

Yes.

Bought something from an adult store?

Yes.

Do you own any sex toys?

Yes.

If yes, how many and what are they?

Various vibrators and attachments, dildo, vibrating nipple clamps, handcuffs, wrist and ankle cuffs with restraints, floggers.

Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film?

Hopefully all has been destroyed.

Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?

No.

Have you ever had phone sex?

Yes. Prefer real sex.

Have you ever had cyber sex?

Ditto.

Do you think oral sex constitutes a form of intercourse?

It's definitely sex, if not intercourse, else why call it oral sex?

What's your favorite sexual position?

Man-on-top missionary.

What's your favorite sex act?

Same as above.