Thursday, April 23, 2009

Thursday Thunks: Spices, Quotes and Other Things

1. If you could skywrite anything you wanted, what would it be?

Probably something silly like, "d was here"

2. Did you get drunk at your prom?

I never went to prom :-(

3. What is your favorite spice to use cooking?

Pepper is what I use most. I also like paprika and garlic salt.

4. What color is your roof?


5. In a land far, far away I _____________

finally found what I was looking for.

6. In the Miss USA pageant, Miss California was asked; "Vermont recently became the fourth state to legalize same sex marriage. Do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not?" and her answer was; "Well I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. Um, we live in a land that you can choose same sex marriage or opposite marriage and, you know what, in my country and in, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman," Carrie said to a mix of boos and applause. "No offense to anybody out there. But that's how I was raised and that's how I think that it should be between a man and a woman." Do you think that cost her the crown?

I have no idea, and I don't care.

7. Do you watch Miss USA/Miss America pageants?


8. Have you ever driven/ridden on a tractor?

I don't think so, even though I've been on farms before.

9. For the parents - what cartoon/children show did your child watch obsessively? (Hey, if you aren't a parent, maybe a niece or nephew...)

SpongeBob SquarePants.

10. If I set a level on your living room floor - would it show that it was level?

It feels level, so hopefully it would pass the test.

11. What was the last restaurant you ate at?

It was a Mexican restaurant inside a hotel, and I don't remember the name of it.

12. What's the picture on your wall calendar for this month?

A Currier & Ives picture called, 'My Boyhood Home'.

13. Are you superstitious?


14. If I get into your car and turn on the radio - what type of radio station will I hear?

Could be any kind. I use the 'seek' button, so it could be stopped on just about anything.

15. Would you rather wake up with a snake in your bed or a lizard?

If I absolutely have to choose to be near either one, it would have to be the lizard, I guess, but I do not like the idea at all.

16. Do you think schools have changed at all since the Columbine tragedy 10 years ago? In what ways?

I assume there is more security in the schools than there used to be , but apparently it's not always effective because there was a gunman at the local school just a few months ago. He ran off after beating up a teacher (no serious injuries, thank goodness), so all the children were okay, but still pretty traumatic for everybody.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Wednesday Weirdness #52

1.) What items (if any) do you get embarrassed to purchase?

I can't think of anything I've been embarrased to buy. I figure it's none of the check-out person's business anyway.

2.) What sexual position do you and your partner/significant other use most?

Missionary--man on top--IF I had a man to be on top.

3.) Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off or do you slip them on and off?

I always untie them before taking them off, and I nag my children to do the same and to tie them when they are on their feet.

4.) What is the last thing you broke by accident?

I think it was a plate I dropped.

5.) If you had to lose one of your body parts what would it be and why?

I suppose it would be my appendix since supposedly we don't need it.

6.) How do you feel about anal sex?

I find the idea of it more stimulating than the reality, although I do get a lot of enjoyment from my partner's enjoyment of it.

7.) If you could have the ability to solve problems quickly and easily or the ability to know without doubt every time a person told a lie, which ability would you want and why?

That's an easy one--I'd want to be a foolproof human lie detector. That alone would prevent a myriad of problems.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

TMI Tuesday #183

1. Marriage and children aside, what has been your greatest accomplishment in life?

Still being here after all these years.

2. Aside from healthy and happy children, what is your greatest ambition for the future?

To finish all the needlework projects I began for all my loved ones before I die.

3. If we were to enter your real name in a search engine, what would we find?

I googled it and found a couple of reviews on Amazon.

4. Who is the most famous person you ever met (not just in the same room as, but actually spoke with)?

I believe I answered this on a previous meme--Bob Dole.

5. Parents aside, who is your biggest hero?

You didn't disallow grandparents, so I am saying my grandmother. I've always wanted to be as sweet and loving as she was.

6. Someone once worked out the sexual version of Six Degrees of Separation - Celebrity A slept with B, who slept with C, who slept with D, making as sort of connection between A and D. Are you connected to anyone famous through six or fewer bonks?

I seriously doubt it. I suppose it could be true, but how would I ever know?

Monday, April 20, 2009

Submissive Journal

Do you identify with a particular type of animal? Do you use any kind of pet or animal interactions with your owner?

i like cats and dogs as pets, but i don't identify with them, and i don't remember ever doing any pet or animal interactions with anyone before.

Do you feel the desire to please, or obey, or a combination of both? Can either of these desires work to your detriment?

i assume that obedience is pleasing, but pleasing is more than obedience. i desire to do both--obviously to obey when directed to do something, but also to get to know my Owner well enough so that i would get better at anticipating His needs and meeting them.

i feel like both desires can work to my detriment, especially if focusing on only one to the exclusion of the other. For example, if i were only to respond to direct orders, my Owner might get weary of always having to direct me, and if i were only to depend upon my own intuition about His needs and desires and ignore direction, that would not be pleasing at all.

It seems best to have obedience be automatic and also be looking for ways to please beyond that whenever it feels like it would be welcomed.

How do you greet your owner upon your or his/her arrival?

i have to answer this about a prior relationship. i was to be freshly bathed, naked and waiting on my knees in the bedroom when he arrived home.

What activity that you engage in involves all of you; mind, body and soul?

If i was having sex, that would be my answer, but since i have not had sex in a long time, probably the activity that has any chance of involving all three of those parts of me (but in a much more minor way) would be dancing or exercise of some kind.

Are you allowed to show your lust for your partner? How do you approach your partner when you want sex?

Again, i have to answer from the past and say i was always allowed to show my desire for him and to approach him when i wanted sex, but i have always tended to be subtle in my approach, like getting naked and cuddling up to him, and so i rarely got the response i was hoping for.

When do you feel the most beautiful?

When my significant other tells me i am beautiful.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Sunday Stealing: The 40 Meme

1. My uncle once : reported that he had spotted my other uncle "walking doggedly" when we were driving around trying to locate him at the airport. Since we passed said uncle before i got a chance to see him, i never learned what "walking doggedly" looks like.

2. Never in my life : have i set out to hurt anyone, so i cannot understand why those that do, do.

3. When I was seventeen : i was married, a homeowner, had a full-time job and was pregnant with my oldest child.

4. High School was : more fun than not, but not enough fun for me to ever desire to go to a high school reunion.

5. I will never forget : my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles and their love for me.

6. I once met : Bob Dole when he was running for Vice President in 1976.

7. There’s this girl I know who : wants to be with the One she belongs to.

8. Once, at a bar : some guy i didn't even know grabbed me and gagged me with his tongue. Gross.

9. By noon, I’m usually : hungry.

10. Last night : i spent the evening hanging out and talking with new friends.

11. If only I had : enough money to pay all the bills on time.

12. Next time I go to gym/church : (gym/church????? i didn't even know there was such a thing as a gym/church. Either way, i haven't seen the inside of one in years!)

13. Susan Boyle : sings very well.

14. What worries me most : is losing anyone i love.

15. When I turn my head left, I see : a beautiful day outside.

16. When I turn my head right, I see : a room in serious need of the kids getting all their stuff picked up and out of here.

17. You know I’m lying when : i say i am lying? But even that is not correct since i don't lie.

18. What I miss most about the eighties : is my youth.

19. If I was a character in Shakespeare, I’d be : Juliet.

20. By this time next year : i will weigh a lot less than i do now.

21. A better name for me would be : Conqueror. (Rom 8:37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us.)

22. I have a hard time understanding : why some people seem to lead charmed lives.

23. If I ever go back to school, I’ll : become an M.D.

24. You know I like you if : i tell you so.

25. If I ever won an award, the first person I’d thank would be : whoever gave it to me.

26. When I compare 80’s rock to 90’s rock : i like 80s rock better.

27. Take my advice, never : go to bed angry.

28. My ideal breakfast is : fried eggs topped with cheese.

29. A song I love, but do not own is : Supermassive Black Hole by Muse. It sets me to dancing.

30. If you visit my hometown, I suggest : you stay in your car with your windows rolled up and your doors locked and pass through as quickly as possible.

31. My favorite Beatle is : Paul.

32. Why won’t people : be nicer to each other?

33. If you spend the night at my house : it will be so much fun--Slumber Party!

34. I’d stop my wedding for : a family emergency or if i was blessed enough to found out before the wedding that the person i was going to marry was a liar. So far, i have failed to dodge that bullet.

35. The world could do without : terrorists.

36. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than : ever be in a relationship with a liar again.

37. My favorite blond is : Sawyer aka James

38: Paper clips are more useful than : a hole in the head?

39. If I do anything well, it’s : empathy and compassion.

40. And by the way : i love watching sunsets.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Saturday 9: Almost Famous

1. Have you ever been told that you look like someone famous?

i answered this on another meme not too long ago, and the answer was yes, i have been told i look like Bette Midler.

2. Name a celebrity that shares your birthday.

Reba McEntire.

3. Tell us about your first kiss.

i think i was 12, and it was with a neighbor boy a year older who talked me into it, and it was pretty close-mouthed and stiff. Even so, i thought i had moved into the big leagues, having acquired kissing experience. i think he managed to kiss all of us neighborhood girls at some point.

A few months ago, one of my friends told me that she had recently attended his funeral. Too young to die. Very sad for his wife and children.

4. When you meet someone attractive, what do you notice first?


5. What was your biggest mistake ever?

Oh gosh, there have been so many collosal mistakes, how on earth can i pick a 'biggest'? The one thing they all seem to have in common, though, is that i went against my gut instinct. In hindsight, that's what i always end up telling myself--i should have gone with my gut feelings instead.

6. Give us one random, but candid fact about you.

i am going to try that four orgasms a day thing to see if it makes me happier (see 'Current' below). (You asked for candid!)

7. What about your current or most recent lover excites you?

Current: i do not have a lover currently, which makes me unhappy and is not exciting.
Most recent: Nothing. Worst. "Lover" (and i use the quotes for sarcasm's sake). Ever.

8. What really annoys you?

Men who assume that i am easy and/or desperate just because i am into BDSM. Mean people. Liars.

9. How many other Saturday 9’ers answers do you usually read?

This is my first time doing this meme. i plan on reading at least three others, more if time permits.

Saturday Six: Episode 262

1. What is the last drink you drank at home?

Room temperature water, very exciting.

2. You’re ordering a latte: do you prefer caffeine or decaf? Flavored or regular? Lowfat or regular?

i don't even know what a latte is, so i probably wouldn't be ordering it. i suspect it may be some kind of coffee, in which case i definitely would not be ordering it.

3. What is the last non-alcoholic drink you ordered at a restaurant?

i am going to declare the Sonic drive-thru to be a restaurant so my that answer can be Cherry Limeade. Love that stuff.

4. What’s the most exotic mixed drink you remember trying? Did you enjoy it?

The bartender said it was his specialty and named it after my daughter, with whom he was flirting a lot. He loved how she looks like Jennifer Aniston. The drink was pink and sweet, and i think i had three of them. He kept giving them to us for free.

5. Take the quiz: What Flavor Margarita Are You?

You Are a Lime Margarita
Realistic and grounded, you have the energy to tackle any obstacle that stands in your way.
Hyper and driven, you despise lazy behavior of all kinds... especially lazy drunks too tired to dance!

6. How likely would you be to order the drink listed as the answer to the previous question?

Considering that i love Cherry Limeade, i would probably be very likely to order a Lime Margarita. i wonder if there is such a thing as a Cherry Lime Margarita. If not, maybe that bartender mentioned above would create one for me.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Friday 5: The Great Outdoors

1. When did you last sleep in a tent?

About a year and a half ago.

2. What comes to mind when you think about relieving yourself in the great outdoors?

Worry about what i am going to wipe with if i wasn't prepared.

3. Where’s the best place you ever went camping?

In a fully outfitted camping trailer.

4. What’s your favorite camp food?

Hebrew Nationals roasted over the campfire.

5. What’s your sleeping bag like?

Light blue on the outside, dark blue on the inside.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Thursday Thunks: Twilight, Emails, Being Nude and More Crazy Questions!

1. Recently Berleen and I discovered the allure of the Twilight series. Have you ever been sucked in to the latest "thing"? (Like Harry Potter, the movie Titanic, social networking, etc. etc. etc.)

i haven't started reading the Twilight series yet, but i probably will if only to see if the Bella character is as wooden on paper as she was portrayed on film. i'm hoping i will enjoy her more in the book.

i have gotten kind of sucked into social networking. i've also gotten sucked into Lost. If something is really popular, i like to check it out to see why. Sometimes things are popular because they really are great.

2. What software do you use for your email?

i just go to the website and do it there.

3. Are you comfortable being nude?

Only in the privacy of my own home and not in front of the kids. i have gotten over being modest in medical situations because it's hopeless trying to maintain modesty under those conditions.

4. What is something you plan on doing this summer?

Visit with friends in Las Vegas.

5. Do you have a favorite movie/book quote? If so, what is it?

i like "I'm your huckleberry" from Doc Holliday in Tombstone.

6. How many email addresses do you have?

Too many to keep up with.

7. Is the sky falling?

It was Wednesday morning.

8. Have you been to the Grand Canyon?

Yes, several times, but i still don't like standing near the edge.

9. When was the last time you mailed a hand written letter?

November 2008.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Four Orgasms A Day

I read that for spiritual well-being, women need to masturbate at least 4 times a day. Can't test that theory out yet since the kids are home on Spring Break.

Wednesday Weirdness #51: Story Time Edition

1.) Tell us how you picked the blog nickname that you write under. Were you considering using a different pseudonym or was the one you wound up with your first pick?

'His d' was my first pick. My name starts with 'd', so it was pretty easy to choose since i love being His.

2.) Tell us about your worst oral sex experience.

That was my first time since i had no idea what i was doing and wasn't sure i was doing it 'right', so i was really self-conscious about it. On the other hand, i don't think i've ever had a bad receptive oral sex experience.

3.) Tell us about the most fun night you've had in the last two months' time.

i don't get out much, so it has to be when i went out with my daughters on a trip to Las Vegas. We mostly drank, and much of it was free because the bartenders and male patrons were enamored of my beautiful daughters. i hardly ever drink, so i ended up being drunk the whole night and really paid for it the next day with a major headache. Another relative that was along on the trip recently posted pictures of the event on a social network, and seeing those pictures was so humiliating that i'm going to try being more sober and camera-aware on such excursions in the future. i did enjoy the night while it was happening, though.

4.) If you were in a restaurant sitting down ready to order and you saw something that grossed you out enough to make you get up right then and leave without ever ordering, tell us about what you saw to make you react that way.

This has never happened to me before, but i imagine if i saw cockroaches or mice or rats running around the restaurant, i'd lose my appetite and have to leave. This doesn't really fit into the scenario described, but something that really grosses me out is when employees use the restroom and don't wash their hands before going back to work. The problem is that when i have witnessed that, it has usually been AFTER i've eaten there, but once i see it, i don't go back.

5.) Tell us about your favorite childhood toy.

It is a toss-up between Barbies and Madame Alexander dolls. i collected both. i loved dressing and undressing them and doing their hair.

6.) Tell us about the weirdest sexual proposition you've ever been faced with.

Weird and super gross. A couple of different men told me they wanted to do oral sex on me while i was on my period. It never happened, and after hearing about that, i wasn't interested in anything else, either.

7.) Tell us about one of the not-so-good dates you and your current (or ex if you have no current) significant other have gone on.

My wedding nights were not very good. With my first ex-husband, he got sick and was throwing up all night long. With my second ex-husband, we were walking back to the hotel after going to a movie, and some idiots driving by threw a water balloon at us, and it hit and broke on me, and it wasn't water in the balloon. Maybe those wedding nights were omens that the marriages were cursed and doomed.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

TMI Tuesday #182: Dance Edition

1. If you could describe your personality through a dance what would it be?

A waltz--old-fashioned and being led by the man.

2. What about describing your sex life through a type of dance?

Well, right now, it would be the wallflower waiting for someone to ask her to dance.

3. What's one move on the dance floor sure to turn you on?

Watching the Paso Doble tends to turn me on.

4. Is there a dancer you would love to be with? (Dancer can be used as loosely as you want!)

i want to do a horizontal Paso Doble with A.

5. What moves do you pull out to impress someone new?

It has been so long since i have been dancing that i don't know if i can remember any moves. i always preferred slow dancing and being held in the man's arms, so the moves would have been the man's anyway.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Submissive Journal

What resources do you have in your service-based arsenal? What would you recommend for domestics, cooking, cleaning and other forms of service?

For household organization and cleaning, i recommend FlyLady. For cooking, i recommend Saving Dinner.

In the beginning, did you ever wonder if you would lose your sense of self somehow in your slavery? Has that proven to be the case? Is that still a question for you?

i did lose my sense of self during a long marriage to an abusive narcissist, but that was how i survived for so long. In regaining my sense of self after the end of that marriage, an integral part of that is still embracing my slavery because that is who i am, but i realize that the coping strategies that i needed before are no longer necessary, so i have been shedding them and more and more re-blossoming into myself again. During that abusive relationship, i was not allowed to have feelings, much less express them. i am learning to be true to my feelings, and i no longer stuff them down with food nor try to deny what i am feeling. i have learned that if i ever find myself involved with someone who does not cherish and protect me, then i will need to end the relationship.

With all that being said, surrendering myself to and losing myself in a man who truly does love, cherish and protect me is a whole different thing. i see that as a safe place to be where my 'self' is nurtured and cultivated the way it is supposed to be. In that case, my best self can only be realized in being His.

Why should women feel empowered?

Simply because we are women and are vital to the survival of the species.

Do you consider yourself monogamous or polyamorous or some other category which cannot be defined? Is there such a thing as "no preference"? What makes your preference work for you?

i am monogamous. i am very single-minded and focused on the man i am mated to. So far it hasn't worked very well for me since the men i have been married to turned out not to be monogamous.

it's hard to believe someone could truly have 'no preference'. Seems like everyone would have a preference.

If you could say three things to the world about the nature of your personal sexuality and really be heard, understood, and accepted, what would you say?

Obviously, there is no guarantee of being heard, understood and accepted, so i rarely try to explain it to anyone except those who are sincerely interested because they are exploring their own personal sexuality and wanting to learn more.

Three things that make my personal sexuality acceptable to me are:

1. It is Scriptural.
2. It is nobody's business but my own and those with whom i am sexual.
3. i do not do anything that is harmful to myself or others.

Have you experienced Sub Frenzy? What was it like?

i had to look this up to learn what it is. i believe i did experience this a few years ago when i was separated from my ex-husband. i did fall for someone, and it was very intense. It ended abruptly, and ultimately i ended up going back to my estranged husband, which was a poor decision, probably affected by the 'sub frenzy' and his promises to have an M/s relationship with me. i feel more grounded and even-keeled now.

Do you have a meditation ritual to think about your submission? What is it like? If you don’t, what would your mantra be like?

i have a bracelet with a little pewter box on it, and inside the box is a rolled-up piece of paper with this printed on it--

i belong to A, and any and every part of me is His to do with as He pleases. To Him i give my service, effort and devotion--my all.

As i wear the bracelet, this 'mantra' resonates within me, and i always remember that i am His.

Does your Owner discipline you as a part of maintenance even if you have been good?

We are not together in real life yet, but He has informed me that using me will happen as He pleases and in whatever form He pleases regardless of my behavior.

List 5 people you know — In 100 words or less tell them how thankful you are to them for something.

A: Thank You for helping me to focus on what is important. i appreciate all the time You have invested in me and the care You have shown for me and my children. i also appreciate each and every time You have spoken to me and each and every word You have written to me. Every word from You is so precious to me. Being Yours undergirds me and brings me joy. Knowing You brightens my days, and i long for the day when i can be at Your feet, serving You and being completely Yours in every way.

Mom: i really miss you. We ran out of time to talk about all the things i wanted to talk to you about, but through the years you always did listen to me and encourage me. You taught me so much, including all the needlework skills i still enjoy. You were always there for me when i needed you. i appreciate all the love and nurturing you gave me my whole life until you couldn't do it anymore, and we had to take care of you instead. i still remember your laugh and how beautiful you were.

Dad: i miss you so much. i appreciate everything you taught me and how you were always there for me no matter what. You gave me my moral compass and so much more. You encouraged every interest i ever had, showing me how to do so many things and always leading by your example. You always practiced what you preached, so i was able to always look up to you. You got down on our level to do things with us, and i loved all the times you would play games with us. You never lost the joy of being a kid and helped me to have that after i was an adult, too. It's so hard being without you.

Sister: i love and appreciate you so much. You have helped me get through so many difficult times and listened to me cry my heart out over and over again. You always know what to say to help me to hang on and keep going, no matter how much i think i can't. We've also had such fun times, laughing until our stomachs hurt, and i appreciate those times, too. You have gone out on a limb for me to help whenever you could, and one of those times was during a terrible time for you, too, and i will never forget that.

Daughter: You have always been loyal to me and stuck with me no matter what was happening and no matter how much pressure was put upon you, and i appreciate how you have stood by me that way. i know it must have been hard for you to be the different one and to go against the crowd. i also appreciate all the times you have helped me with the younger children and housework when we were all struggling with the difficulty of our daily lives in the toxic environment we were in. i'm sorry i didn't get all of us out sooner.

(It took me like half a box of Kleenex to get through writing the above five paragraphs.)

What do you consider domestic service? Do you enjoy serving or being served in this fashion? What tips do you have for someone learning to love domestics?

i think of domestic service as doing household chores, cooking, cleaning, serving meals. Those are all necessary for everyday life, so i haven't really thought about it that much in the specific context of service, as in consensual slavery. i can see, though, how it can be a part of that by focusing on the Master and meeting His needs.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Sunday Stealing: The Green Meme

1. What is your current obsession?

A, my Sir.

2. What’s a good coffee place?


3. Who was the last person that you hugged?

my 14-year-old son, yesterday.

4. Do you nap a lot?


5. Tonight, what’s for dinner?

Roast chicken, a current fave of the whole family.

6. What was the last thing that you bought?

Groceries and other household needs plus new mascara.

7. What is your favorite weather?

Sunny and warm.

8. Tell us something about one blogger who you think will play this week?

An Eerie Tapestry's blog title was inspired by a Batman comic.

9. If you were given a free house that was fully furnished, where in the world would you like it to be?

Somewhere on the California coast.

10. Name three things that you could not live without.

my loved ones, the Scriptures and an abundance of other books, preferably the classics that have stood the test of time.

11. What would you like in your hands right now?

Any part of A.

12. What’s one of your guilty pleasures?

All of my pleasures are guilt-free.

13. What would you change or eliminate about yourself?

i would like to eliminate my excess weight.

14. As a child, what type of career did you want?

As a young child, i wanted to be a princess, but as i grew older and learned that one had to be born into that career, i decided i wanted to be a wife and mother, and if that didn't pan out, then i was going to go to medical school and become a doctor and work in medical research.

15. What are you missing right now?

Since the question is 'what' and not 'who', the answer is the warmer weather we were having before it rained and got cold again yesterday. At least the sun is out today, so maybe it will eventually warm up.

16. What are you currently reading?

The manual for my new BlackBerry.

17. What do you fear the most?

Any of my loved ones being harmed.

18. What’s the best movie that you’ve seen recently?

The only movie i've seen recently is Twilight, and while i enjoyed it overall, i had a difficult time with the female lead. The actress did not do a very good job in my opinion, which distracted from the story. She was not animated enough, and i was not able to believe that she was as in love with the male lead as the story required. Granted, i have not read the book, but i cannot imagine that the portrayal of this character in the book could be so wooden, or else the book series could not be so hugely popular as it is.

19. What’s your favorite book from the past year?

i am going to answer this as my favorite book that i have read in the past year as opposed to my favorite book published in the past year because i rarely am able to read them so soon after release. i have read several really good books this past year, so this is a very hard decision, but the prize is going to Three Bags Full: A Sheep Detective Story by Leonie Swann. i believe it was originally written in German, which makes it all the more impressive to me how all the nuances are there in English. This was such a unique book, written from the perspective of a flock of sheep, and the way the author captured such great characters in the form of sheep is amazing. i was totally able to get into it and believe that these sheep were as intelligent as they were portrayed. i even began to perceive things from their point of view. There were really hilarious parts to the story, touching and dramatic parts, adventure, philosophy, you name it. A great, really enjoyable read.

20. Is there a comfort food from your childhood that you still enjoy?

Yes, Tuna a la King, which is tuna in a seasoned white sauce served steaming hot over buttered toast. Yum!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Saturday Six: Episode 261

1. What is the last spice you used when cooking something at home?

Paprika on fried eggs.

2. How many varieties of mustard are in your refrigerator right now?

Three--regular yellow, spicy brown and Southwest Spicy.

3. How many different drinks are in your refrigerator right now?

Two--milk and Mountain Dew Voltage.

4. Which spice do you least like the taste of?


5. Take the quiz: What Herb Are You?

You Are Basil
You are a mild mannered person. People feel naturally calm around you.
You are warm hearted and loving. You have a close knit circle of friends and family.

You have the courage to be who you are in life, even if others disagree. You're proud of your uniqueness.
You are good at caring for and healing others. You are naturally soothing.

6. What’s your favorite flavor of chicken wings?


Friday, April 10, 2009

Friday 5: Ws, Part 2

What’s something you know how to draw?

A happy face symbol.

Who’s someone you could get away with impersonating?

i've been told i look like Bette Midler. Wish i could sing as well as she does.

Where’s the stapler?

As usual, not on my desk where it is supposed to be.

Why will this be a great weekend?

Because i have a new toy.

When are you going to make that phone call you’ve been putting off?

On Monday when they're open again.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Thursday Thunks: Rabbits, don't get it, ouch and other randomness

1. What was the last thing you ate?


2. I say the color purple.. what do you think of?

Bruises ;-)

3. Lamps or ceiling lights?

i need both. i need a light switch for a ceiling light right next to the door so i don't have to walk across a dark room and possibly break my neck, but i also need a closer-up light on whatever i am doing, especially for reading, doing paperwork and needlework.

4. What color rabbit is your favorite?

i'm not sure what they are called, but they have coloring and markings similar to a siamese cat. i saw that kind once at a county fair, and i thought they were very pretty.

5. Your car breaks down on a deserted road and your cell phone has no signal - what do you do?

i would put my hood up, turn on the flashers if they work and then stay in the car with the doors locked until someone i know or the police/highway patrol came along. If that took too long, i would probably try to walk to an inhabited area.

6. What is one thing most of your friends do online that you just can't understand the fascination and do not participate in?

i don't know if 'most' do it, but playing Mafia Wars seems to be very popular. i can't really judge it, not having tried it, but something about pretending to be a criminal doesn't sit well with me, and i haven't at all been tempted to try it. Strangely, though, i LOVED watching The Sopranos on HBO. i think the difference is that watching a story about criminals is more comfortable for me than portraying one myself.

7. What do you need right now?

What i always need--my Sir. We live in different states.

8. And your most serious injury you've had was....?

In high school, during cheerleading practice, i did a front flip into the splits on the ground and i heard and felt three pops and immediately had excruciating pain and had to have help getting up. A really nice guy who gave me a ride home from school every day and also gave me flowers sometimes was waiting until practice was over to take me home, so he came to my rescue and got me to the car. When i got home, my mom took me to the hospital. After x-rays, the doctor told me my hips were fused, and i braced myself for what horrible thing that meant, but then he told me it just meant that i was fully grown and not going to get any taller, so i breathed a big sigh of relief. But then he told me that i had torn ligaments in my right hip and would not be able to do cheerleading or gymnastics or any P.E. whatsoever for an entire year, and in the short term, i would not be able to use that leg at all and would have to use crutches. i was devastated. Gymnastics was my favorite thing, and i was good at it, so it broke my heart. Over that next year, i several times re-tore those ligaments trying to do a cartwheel or splits and had to start recovery all over again. i was never able to do the splits again after those ligaments finally healed and didn't tear anymore.

9. What is the most evil thing you've ever done?

Allowed my first baby to be aborted.

10. Give us some random fact about you.

i have laryngitis right now.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Wednesday Weirdness #50

1.) What condiment goes best with french fries?

For me, it is ketchup.

2.) What condiment do you feel best represents your personality?

Mayonnaise--white and creamy.

3.) If the love of your life was a different religion from you, would you convert for them if they asked you to?

No, it's not really conversion unless it comes from inside you.

4.) What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?

i like grilled peanut butter sandwiches, so my answer is bread, butter and heat.

5.) If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?

No, we should live each day as if it is our last anyway.

6.) If you could change your eye color to anything in the world you wanted, what would you change it to?

i'd keep my own. i like my eye color--sometimes blue, sometimes green.

7.) Are you more often the partner in crime or the good conscience with your friends and family?

i've always tended to be the goody-two-shoes in any group i've been a part of.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

TMI Tuesday #181

1. Have you ever had a sexual experience with the opposite sex?

Yes. (The creator of this week's questions says that this was supposed to read 'same sex' instead of 'opposite sex'. My answer to whether i have ever had a sexual experience with the same sex is 'no.')

2. When you see someone you like, how do you act, how do you get their attention?

It has been so long since that has happened, but i suppose i would just smile at them. i'm not very artful with these kinds of things. i'm a responder, not an initiator.

3. Dominate or dominated, which do you prefer?

Most definitely dominated.

4. Would you/ Have you ever had a threesome?

i was subjected to one once that was not completely consensual. i submitted because i was afraid it would happen anyway and be even more traumatic if i didn't submit to it. It was two men much bigger and stronger than i was. i was dating one of them and really liked and trusted him, and we were actually in the middle of sex when i noticed his friend had come into the room, and i kept asking the guy i was with to tell his friend to get out, but he just kept saying to let him watch. i started to realize what they had planned, and i felt really sick. i ended up just zoning out and don't have much of a memory of anything after that until i was safely away, and then i cried a lot. The one i had been dating actually called me the next day and wanted to get together. i told him he was crazy and that i never wanted to see him or his creepy friend ever again.

5. When was the last time you had sex?

With myself, a few days ago. With someone else, about 3 months ago, and that relationship was one big gigantic mistake. On top of everything else that was bad about it, the sex was the absolute worst ever.

6. Sex on the first date...good or bad?


7. Do you have any random or out of the ordinary turn ons?

Facial and body hair on men, well, on my man; i'm not turned on when i see it on some random guy, but i like seeing it and feeling it on the man i am with. The smell of Drakkar Noir also has a potent effect on me. Being directed and dominated by the man i am with turns me on, whatever form it takes at any given time. And for some reason, being called 'baby' gets to me, too.

8. What attributes attract you to a potential partner.

Masculinity, intelligence, strength of character, dominance, voice, smile, humor.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Submissive Journal

“A slave’s life is mostly composed of patience and study. Yes, study. If not with actual books, then following the example of greater, senior slaves. Or learning every nuance of their owner’s character, so that they can more completely and seamlessly offer themselves at the right time and in the right manner.” - Laura Antoniou

i do try to read all i can and learn as much as i can from others with more experience. Everyone i have met in this lifestyle so far i have met online, and they are generally very generous in sharing what they have learned.

i do my best to focus and listen attentively whenever Sir is talking to me in order to understand and remember everything He tells me. i love learning everything about Him that He shares with me. i also re-read emails and chats to absorb His words as thoroughly as possible.

Is focus something you strive for? Do you meditate or do other practices which allow you to focus?

my meditation is mostly in the form of reading the Scriptures and meditating on what i have read along with praying.

“I like looking feminine and I enjoy being a role model. I enjoy being a woman. It all comes down to having the confidence to be who you are.” - Cathy Freeman

i enjoy being and looking feminine. i stopped cutting my hair years ago, and so i have really long hair, which is rather unusual for my age group, but that is what i am most comfortable with. The main reason for that is because it sets me apart as a female and even sets me apart from other females. i also always wear dresses or skirts because i want to look and feel as womanly as possible.

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” -Mahatma Gandhi

i think this is very true. We can find our highest selves by doing what we can for others. In serving the One who owns me, i am more acutely aware of everything i say and do, not only because of how it reflects on Him, but because i am defined as being His, and in that, i feel elevated and magnified. And that self-awareness then recycles into more desire to serve Him.

“That which yields is not always weak.” - Jacqueline Carey — Kushiel’s Dart

i picture this in regard to trees and how the trees that survive yield to the wind, while those that don't can end up being uprooted or broken. There also is a spiritual principle that strength is made perfect in weakness, so strength can sometimes appear to be weakness or perhaps be clothed in weakness. The strength of the Master is made perfect in the 'weakness' of the slave because the yielding of the slave results in His strength expanding and also residing within her.

How polite are you? Where did you learn your social etiquette? What rules do you have in your relationship regarding p’s and q’s?

i try to be as polite as possible and treat people the way i want to be treated. i learned most of my social etiquette from my parents. The main etiquette-type rule in my relationship is for me to be respectful--to greet Him in a respectful way, to respond to Him in a respectful way, and there are some words and forms of speech that i know He doesn't like and has designated disrespectful, so i avoid those. It also displeases Him when i get too analytical and start sounding like a lawyer, so i avoid that as well.

When are you most aware of being owned/submissive?

Whenever i am interacting with Him, and that is when i most exult in it, too.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Sunday Stealing: Meme About Blogging

1. How did you come up with your blog title OR what does it mean?

i thought it was a good play on words. 'd serves' is kind of like 'deserves', but serving is quite a bit different from deserving or entitlement. 'd' is the first letter of my name. The 'coming alive as His' part came from a song called Let It Rock, this part of the lyrics--

Because when I arrive
I, I bring the fire
Make you come alive
I can take you higher

Those lyrics reminded me of Sir and how i feel when He arrives. i get all excited and warm all over, more animated and even rather bouncy. In learning to please Him, i feel like the slave in me is coming alive and that He brings out the best in me, i.e. takes me higher.

2. What are your general goals for blogging?

i mainly just wanted to have a place to write when i felt like it and have fun with memes and whatever else occurs to me.

3. Do people “in your real life” know that you blog and do they comment on your blog OR is it largely anonymous?How often do you post (x per week)?

No. i stopped posting to my vanilla blog that friends and family knew about. This one is anonymous, at least i hope so. i try to post every day, but some days i miss and then catch up when i get back to it.

4. How often do you read other blogs (x per week)?

Probably 3-4 times a week.

5. How do you select blogs to read (do you prefer blogs that focus on certain topics or do you choose by tone or…?)

i look for BDSM lifestyle blogs, and i also visit the blogs of those who do the same memes that i do and discover blogs i enjoy that way, too.

6. Do you have any plans to copy your blog entries in any other format, 0r do you think that one day, you’ll just delete it all?

i imagine it will just float away into cyberspace one of these days.

7. What are the things you like best about blogging?

Being able to say whatever i want to.

8. What are the things you don’t like about blogging?

How sometimes simply because it is there i feel like i need to post something.

9. How do you handle comments?

i generally will visit the blogs of those who comment to try to get to know them better.

10. Do you have any burning thoughts to share on blog etiquette?

my blog etiquette is the same as in real life. i try to treat other bloggers the way i would want to be treated. i respect and appreciate that they have gone to the trouble to post something that i am able to read if i want to. If i don't like it, i certainly do not have to read it.

11. Any desired blog features?

i like being able to change themes when i feel like it, and i like to be notified of comments.

12. Have you suffered blog addiction?

i don't think so. i do enjoy reading blogs, but i also like reading other things, like books.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Saturday Six: Episode 260

1. If money was tight, which of the following would you be most likely to give up: cable television, internet access or your cell phone?

i don't have cable, so satellite television is what i would give up.

2. Of that same list, which would be least willing to part with?

Internet access. Have to have that for my work.

3. Your car dies: the only car you can afford, without going into serious debt, is a demo model that doesn’t have working air conditioning or heat. Assuming that it cannot be fixed (or that you can’t afford the repair, could you get by with that car?

Yes, i have had to do it before, so i know it can be done.

4. If remote controls ceased to exist tomorrow, would you watch less television or about the same amount?

Probably about the same amount. i mostly just watch Lost, and lack of a remote would not stop me from doing that.

5. Take the quiz: What Remote Button Are You?

You Are Rewind
Compared to most people, you are nostalgic and sentimental.
You are drawn to the past. Your favorite things tend to be old things.

You like to replay events in your mind after they've happened.
You're the type of person who can watch a favorite movie over and over again.

6. What percentage of mail that you send to friends and family is email versus snail mail? In a perfect world, which would you most prefer?

99% email/1% snail mail. i prefer email because it is faster and easier. Twitter is even faster and easier, that is when it is not over capacity or otherwise screwing up.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Friday 5: Food and Drink

1. What is your favorite fizzy, bubbly drink?

My absolute favorite is vanilla creme soda, but i haven't been able to find a good diet version, so i usually end up drinking Diet Dr. Pepper IF i have a fizzy, bubbly drink, which i hardly ever do these days.

2. What is your favorite deep-fried food?

Cheese balls--crispy outer coating with melted cheese inside--so yummy!

3. What is your favorite hot beverage?

Hot cocoa. i don't drink coffee, and i like my tea iced.

4. What is your favorite really messy food?

Ribs smothered in BBQ sauce.

5. What is your favorite recipe for a blended or mixed beverage?

Vanilla ice cream, Hershey's syrup and milk=Chocolate milkshake.

(By the way, the only thing in this list that is allowed on my diet is the ribs, only without the BBQ sauce, but i am okay with that since i like the weight loss more than any food or drink.)

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Thursday Thunks: April Fools, Non-Reality, Cracking Your Knuckles, And Other Off The Wall Questions

1. Did you play any April Fools jokes on anyone or have a joke played on you?

No, not my thing, and my kids know better.

2. If you could be on any non-reality TV show as a guest star or star, which one would it be and why?

A complete no-brainer for anyone who knows me--Lost--on the chance i might be able to do a hot scene with Sawyer (aka James), although i would gladly settle for Richard, Desmond, Sayid, John, Christian or Hurley. Even Ben. Just not Jack. Well, okay, even Jack.

3. Do you crack your knuckles?

No, and i do not want to even try. i don't even like it when people do it around me.

4. If you remember your first day of kindergarten, were you scared or excited? If you have kids or grandkids, were they scared or excited?

i was excited to finally be getting to go to school. i don't remember any of my kids being scared, so they must have been excited, too.

5. If you are in the shower, hear the fire alarm going off and smell smoke/see flames, will you just run out of the house with a towel on or grab some clothes & dress as you run out?

Since i'd be taking a shower, likely my robe would be nearby, so i would probably be able to grab that as i ran out of the bathroom to locate my children first and foremost. Only after i made sure they were out safely would i worry about how covered or uncovered i was. Hopefully a neighbor would bring me a blanket or something if i needed more covering.

6. Last week the Thursday Thunkers asked about your Daddy (twice), so this week tell us a little about your Mom.

She is dead, and she left a mystery behind. Because of that, i sometimes feel like i never really knew her, and that almost makes me sadder than the fact that she is gone.

7. Which search engine do you use most often?


8. Did you participate in Earth Hour?

No. i'm pretty sure i was watching Lost.

9. What was the last new-to-you movie you watched? Was it in the theater or on DVD? Was it good?

i think it was Hancock, and i saw it on DVD. i thought it was good. i really enjoyed it.

10. If you do something embarrassing, do you laugh it off, or sit & worry about it?

Oh, for heaven's sake, if you're living, you're going to end up doing embarrassing things, and you have to learn to laugh at yourself. What a waste of time it would be to sit and brood about such things. Not only do i laugh about it when i do embarrassing things, i even tell others about it so they can laugh, too.

11. Where is your favorite spot in your home to sit & relax?

It used to be a recliner in the sectional in the family room, but since i have been single it has been sitting on my bed. In thinking of the answer to this question, i was trying to figure out why i stopped sitting in that recliner and actually have had kind of an aversion to it. In fact, i even avoid going into that room. It finally hit me that that was where my abusive ex-husband last attacked me--cornered in that recliner. No wonder i've never sat in it again.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Wednesday Weirdness #49

1. Is April 1st a fun day, or an annoyance?

An annoyance.

2. What is the best prank you ever pulled or had pulled on you?

Probably when someone jumped out and scared me. That's happened a lot. Apparently people like to hear me scream. i can't remember ever pulling a prank on anyone. i'm too transparent to be effective.

3. What do you think is the most underrated sexual act?

Man-on-top missionary position, still my favorite.

4. What is your favorite website?

Google. It helps me find all the other websites.

5. What is the most annoying commercial on the air right now?

i don't see many because i don't watch TV very often, and when i do, it has been recorded, so i fast-forward through the commercials, but i remember seeing some commercials a couple months ago that were super irritating. There were animated line drawings and what sounded like someone talking on a staticky phone connection saying a bunch of crap that mostly was unintelligible, and what words could be made out made no sense. i never even knew what that stupid commercial was for.

6. If you were going to create a porn movie, please describe the title, premise and 1st sex scene.

Oh gosh, i guess i would have to call it 'Real Boobs, Real Orgasms', and the premise would be that the women actually have real boobs and real orgasms. i haven't seen any porn movies in a while, but what i most remember was how fake the women's boobs and orgasms were. For the first scene, i would try to get a real-life couple who are comfortable and experienced with having sex with each other and then just let them do their thing. There would be a focus on how the woman's natural boobs move naturally instead of the lack of movement and/or weird line and plastic ripply look of fake boobs when there is some movement. There would also be a focus on the physiological indications that the woman is actually for-real cumming. And most of all, she would NOT look at the camera with her tongue licking her lips trying to look sexy. If she was really truly cumming, that is what would be sexy.