Monday, March 9, 2009

Adolescence and Beyond

One of the things i've noticed lately is that my children talk to me nearly daily about their love lives. The children i'm speaking of are 20, 15 and 14, and it seems like they are comfortable talking about these things with me because they know i will understand since i'm in a similar stage of life, having a crush of my own.

On a recent visit, i leaned over and in a conspiratorial manner whispered to my 20-year-old, "i'm falling for A," and then she shrieked and got all giddy and bouncy and said, "Oh, I know what you mean, I am so totally falling for C!" And then we were both giddy and bouncy and giggly, talking about the attributes of our respective beaux.

On a subsequent visit, she couldn't wait to tell me about her first kiss with C. Her description of this had me in stitches, as she was telling me how she was thinking, "Whoa, whoa, that's way too much tongue!" In addition to how funny her way of saying "Whoa" was, i was also laughing because i was thinking that someday she will no longer have such an aversion to french kissing. Not very many days later she called to inform me that C is no longer in favor because on one of those questionnaires floating around MySpace he answered that the person he last texted was his ex-girlfriend. Her disposition of the matter was to conclude, "Well, at least I still have my gym hottie to enjoy!" Every time she says "gym hottie" it makes me laugh.

my 15-year-old gives me long narratives about which boys said what and did what at school that day along with all of her reactions to every little thing. i remember what all of that was like, so i try to get some words of advice in edgewise when i can. She listens to me more than she used to. i also told her how i felt about A and mentioned to her how happy i was that He had helped me get structured and organized enough to finally get my divorce papers finished. For some reason, this information prompted her to say, "Mom, you just like guys who boss you around." I was taken by surprise that she had perceived that about me. I answered, "Well, yes, that's true, but not meanies."

my 14-year-old went through a break-up with his girlfriend the other night. They had been going together for 10 months, which is quite a long-term relationship for that age. He told me all about the entire conversation. i asked relevant questions, one being, "Did she tell you why she wanted to break up?" He answered, "She said it was because everybody on the bus had told her that I was flirting with C." i was thinking, my goodness, we just got back from the bus stop--how on earth did 'everybody' tell her stuff already? So, i asked him, "Were you flirting with C?" And he said, "Well, yeah, but..." And then we both started laughing. So, now i guess he's getting together with C, even though K called back and wanted to get back together about an hour after breaking up with him.

As for me, i still only have eyes for A.

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